baby steps

finally talked the scenarios in my head out with el last night on the phone. and somehow, a lot of things were put into perspective. i guess i just needed to vent it out.

i'm only a little less than two months into this job, and i already feel like giving up. the same thing happened about 3 years ago, when i had the chance to extend my stay at the UN but decided to go back home for reasons that seemed like a good idea at the time (never rearrange your life just for someone else. you have to want the new arrangement regardless of whether or not he/she is around. yeah, i was a sap. i watched too many chick flicks and thrived on big gestures like that :-p).

this time around, i have a chance to do things right--take things slow, and take things one day at a time. i recognize that i don't love this job. who would (haha)? but i also recognize that it's a start. i'm starting out my life again. and it's actually a great start.

i WILL move on to better things. soon. it'll take some time. i just have to be patient.