excuse me while i kiss the sky

okay, i may have overreacted the other day about certain overbearing family members. i went over and over what happened in my head, and i realize that maybe i didn't really have a big reason to get peeved. just that, this isn't the first time i've gotten crap about my actions when there really is no need for concern. really, am i THAT bad? i didn't even know i was a problem.

sometimes i just don't know what the issue is anymore. one thing about the elders, especially in filipino families, is that they tend to water down the issue. they try to say it in the nicest/most innocent way, playing down their concerns, that you are almost expected to be nice about it as well, pretending that you'll take it in because the elders said so, instead of just being straight with them. yes, filipinos tend to skirt around the issue. why can't people just be blunt about what's happening?

on this note, let me just say (because i pretty much know where this is going)...

i'm 24. i think as far as most 24-year-olds go, i'm doing pretty good for myself. there is NO WAY i'm jeopardizing my career. putting it on hold, maybe. at least until i can get my papers together. cut me a little bit of slack. the weekends are my only days to really let loose. as if the week isn't already stressful and frustrating, i really don't need a reason to feel the same way about my weekends. i just want to have fun. i play clean. and i work hard. i honestly don't believe i'm a bad kid. i might even be one of the better ones out there.

people need to realize i'm not a kid anymore. that though i may look it, i'm not the naive lil filipina girl they always imagined me to be, being that i grew up in such a sheltered/protected setting. yes, i didn't grow up in this world. yes, it's a lot to take in. but i'm not as helpless as you think i am (and heck, it's not all that different either, you know! US? pffffsh. makati lang yan!:-p).

if there's one thing i learned from the pseudo-rebellious phase of my life (i don't really consider it a rebellious phase because i was still mindful of my boundaries), it's that i'm tough, not necessarily in the physical way, but you know what i mean. i have a good head on my shoulders. i weigh my decisions and i don't go overboard. i'd like to think i have a good balance of tradition and modern-day ideals. and it's all because i was brought up that way.

if you know my parents, you can trust that they did their job in raising me well. heck, you can trust that i learned what i needed to. have i really ever done anything to make anybody doubt my morals?

okay, don't answer that. haha.. :-p dammit. i just want to live my life. is that so much to ask?