the year that was and the year that will be

i can't believe it's already been another year.

i don't remember ever making a list of new year's resolutions for last year. i remember making a list of things i need to do for my 24th year of existence though. some of them, i've been working on. most of them, i've just completely ignored. the thing with lists though is that it still feels like you're confined to the four walls of your own mind. sure, you try to write down the things that come to mind. but i think the beauty of not living your life according to lists is that you're free to do whatever your heart friggin' pleases.

and i think that's what i did this year. i used my list as a guide to living, but i feel like i've done so much more than the list. i never thought i could own up to my own mistakes. i never thought i could stand up for myself. i never thought i could face problems (especially blood-related ones) head on. i never thought i could feel like i'm part of something important. i never thought i could get my affairs in order. and i could keep going on and on about things that i never thought i could do. but what i'm basically trying to say is that living my life according to what the day brings has gotten me so much farther in life than any list has ever done. and i have to say that 2009 was a really good year for me. i guess the list just keeps with traditions. you're not really meant to do everything on the list. but trying would be nice.

and speaking of keeping with traditions, here's one:

new year's resolutions

1. take a class. any class.

2. keep writing.

3. keep taking photos.

4. travel. anywhere that's over 100 miles away.

5. be spontaneous.

6. go to a gig every other month.

7. get back to dancing.

8. get in shape.

9. perform on stage. or at least, in front of a big crowd.

10. get back to playing the guitar.

11. think less. do more.

12. move out. ASAP.

13. SAVE UP!

i know they're a lot like last year's goals. but there's more breathing room to fulfill them now. what i've learned this past year is that at the very moment you decide to draw up a list, the pressure of making the new year awesome inevitably lets you shoot blanks. so instead of putting so much pressure on ourselves by setting unrealistic expectations, we should just go with the flow, and hopefully, all goes smoothly.

so hello, 2009! what do you have for me this year?