this time around

so this past weekend's been an eye-opener for me. it was el's turn to grill me with questions i probably asked him a while back (haha.. revenge of the curious boyfriend. kidding. :-p). and i guess it's the first time in a really long while that i've had to think about such things. i actually got to dig a lil deeper into my past, and i realized that it's not so scary after all.

the other day, i ended up chatting with russ online. as much as i had wanted to run away (literally and figuratively) from the past, i think it's inevitable that we'll always be friends. we've just been through so much together. so i guess the past will always be around. BUT the present is really where it's at.

i've started a new chapter in my life. and i'm rediscovering the beauty of loving someone who loves you the same way back. they say that's never the case, that there will always be one who loves the other more. and almost half a year ago, i would've been the first to agree. but i can't find it in me to nod my head along if someone said that to me this time around. we may like different things. and we may not always agree on certain issues. but this might actually be the first time that i can safely say, we're on the same page. at least, with everything that really matters in our lives right now.

did i mention that i'm extremely happy? no? yeah? i'll say it again: I AM INSANELY HAPPY.=) it's that inconvenient, ridiculous, all-consuming, can't-get-rid-of-the-butterflies-in-the-tummy kind of love. and it's been an amazing past few months.=)